Because Donald Trump is a gooey, hulking, Brobdingnagian wad of loser, his handpicked replacement for the Senate seat being vacated by Sen. Pat Toomey has already settled in for his political dirt nap. Sean Parnell, the MAGA-anointed heir apparent to the seat, suspended his campaign on Monday after a judge awarded custody of his children to his estranged wife, following disturbing allegations of domestic abuse. For some reason, Parnell didn’t pull a white man’s mulligan and simply bawl in front of the camera—which is really weird, considering the tactic has been proven effective in securing both Supreme Court confirmations and lifetime passes to kill protesters. Instead, Parnell just slinked away—as if shame was still a thing in today’s Republican Party. Now that there’s a vacant seat in the GOP primary clown car, at least one more red-nosed harlequin is thinking of climbing in.  Read more